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Kelso Kids

Observations on life by a sleep deprived mom, writer, and amateur paparazzi of my neurodiverse ASD family.

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Childbirth, motherhood, and other torture

baby, breastfeeding, cosleeping, death of dreams, depression, fatherhood, friendship, humor, kids, motherhood, parenting, pcos, postnatal depression, postpartum depression, ptsd, resentment, second child, siblings, sleep deprivation, toddlers, turning forty

Childbirth, motherhood, and other torture

January 25, 2016

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Kelso Kids: Pooflinger Paparazzi

Kelso Kids: Pooflinger Paparazzi

Old Stuff

Old Stuff

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Leonora did her best to cheer up little brother today. He's fighting off a sinus infection that he and I both seem to get this time of year. Seasonal allergies be damned though if I put The Greatest Showman on. . He sprung off the couch to twirl, sing every lyric by heart, and dance with his sister. I love watching them together and marvel at how, quite often, stereotypes about autism are so inaccurate. They prove the naysayers wrong with every sweet moment like these. Snot and all. They dance hand-in-hand, they talk to each other, compromise with each other, and they love one another. . Owen finally laid back down to rest and became upset that I had fast forwarded over the scary bit with the big fist fight and fire. I hugged him and dried his tears, "We don't need to watch the scary parts." He looked into my eyes earnestly, "Yes. We. Doooo. Please?!" . There's my reminder of my lovely weirdos. I love them more than coffee. ❤❤❤ . #thegreatestshowman #autismforthewin #autism #mylovelyweirdos #adhd #siblinglove #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

Post-school freakouts are in effect, y'all! The school year has officially begun for O. . He comes home filthy and bedraggled like he just survived the last train out of a war torn province. Even his backpack is too heavy to carry so he drags it up the steps or launches it at me. . Sister helps chill him out after the devastating loss of "favorite cars" at school. We watch helplessly while he stared out the window crying over their loss like a family pet. . We heard the lament all evening until I produced a replacement out of my stash of $1 store cars. The world was at peace once again in our little walls. . Remember when a simple, cheap toy turned your whole day around? What's the equivalent for us adults other than alcohol or coffee? Sleep? Being left alone to enjoy all three previously mentioned items? .

These two people had no idea what was in store for them ten years ago! . Infertility, job changes, home renovation, kid, chicken ownership, another kid, a book, and autism diagnoses all around. The many laughs and challenges in between all have created a very colorful life for us indeed. . Happy tenth anniversary to my travel reluctant companion, father to our kids, robot aficionado, Lego addict, and royal pain in my ass like no else could ever achieve. I love you, Jamie (@aka_grover ). .

1st day back at Preschool for Owen! . Lots of nerves but all smiles once the bus came. We all helped him on and waved farewell. . It's bittersweet for many reasons. I'm proud of Owen. Relieved that his return to preschool went so well. Resentful that he gets shipped around outside of his neighborhood for an education. . It's hard on him to be at a new school each year but we're thankful for the Early Education Program for having him. . Inclusion is a complicated subject and highly debatable but, as a mom, it means having my boy come home feeling happy and successful today. Self contained classroom or not. ❤

Hey, I'm in a newspaper! Thank you for the lovely write up, Tamara (https://tamaraannefowler.com), and the flattering headshot, Autumn (@neverland_images ). I feel honored that people stop to read my work much less want to know more about me. Silly people. Thank you ❤ . . . #specialneedsparenting #autismparenting #pdxproud #resist #lovetrumpshate #postpartumawareness #babybluesconnection #autismacceptance #specialandproud #yourenotalone #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

Another great event hosted by ASO (@autismsocietyor )!!! First Responders Day was a hit with both kids. What a great way to introduce them to our helpers and alleviate their fears! . Leonora kept her "flare" badges on all day and Owen was determined to get the swat helmet on despite it weighing fifty pounds. He now wants to be a "fire cop"...? . These are the happy moments that help us parents of our neurodiverse kids remember that there are people out there that care. That "get it". . . . #autismsocietyoforegon #autismforthewin #autism #neurodiversity #specialandproud #neurodiverse #neurorainbow #kelsokids #autismparenting #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

This is what the 1st day of school was for Leonora. A panic attack followed by a conversation about feelings while hiding under a blanket. Lots of reassurance and hugs while I held her as she cried and struggled to talk. Me reminding her that she won't feel this way forever. That even these feelings don't last forever. That the fear will subside. . That the "mean words" in her head are from others and not the truth. That she's safe. That we like her, love her, and so do others. We name off her few friends and acquaintances. It does little to calm her but eventually her breathing slows. She relaxes in my arms and listens. . As a mother, I say all these things to help her through her anxiety yet part of me is lying. Because she's not safe. At least not around most people. . The world wounds her. She takes in every word from every conversation around her and interprets it literally and out of context. . The world confuses and astounds her in equal amounts. I marvel at her endurance and ache to help her. She desperately wants to please everyone, to be accepted, to be liked. . I grieve for the acceptance that we rarely find. So I answer the insensitive questions from others about us. I'm patient with the cutting remarks that are unintentionally cruel. I tell myself they mean well. They're oblivious, unaware, uninformed. Much like her pain from such words, it's small consolation. . So I shut the world away for her today, dried her tears and made allergen-free donuts with her. Because, sometimes, you just need cuddles and donuts. . . . #autism #anxiety #ptsd #autismparenting #thisiswhatautismlookslike #socialcommunicationdisorder #donuts #cuddles #autismacceptance #specialneedsparenting #specialandproud #neurodiversity #neurorainbow #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

"Irony? Ironic? What does that mean? That sounds like a name for a robot!" Out of the mouths of babes... . Nora didn't like her new games so I told her to finish them and then we would upgrade...oops. . . . #autismforthewin #onthehook #hyperlexia #tag #autism #specialneedsparenting #neurodiversity #neurorainbow #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

“I use da’ potty. I do me-self!” Owen has suddenly decided to potty train himself after many false starts. The success is all his and he reminds me often by demanding I "give (him) space" while he does so. My independent boy, we are so proud of you. (New post via bio page or www.kelsokids.org.) #pottytraining #autism #adventuresintoileting #mycontraryboy #mylovelyweirdos #autismacceptance #specialneedsparenting #specialneeds #adhd #autism #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi #neurodiversity #neurorainbow #specialandproud #candidchildhood

Here's the reality. Owen is the most contrary soul I've ever met in my life aside from his father. . My kid knows how to read but he taught himself. Most instruction I give is rejected. He rarely wants me to read to him. He prefers YouTube for kids, PBS Kids, and any number of apps that equal to total strangers narrating to him rather than listen to me. . My favorite thing in the world, the written word, and I can share the joy of it beside him but not the act itself. Maybe someday he'll enjoy me reading to him. . . . #thisiswhatautismlookslike #autism #mycontraryboy #contrarysoul #hyperlexia #autismforthewin #adhd #neurodiversity #neurorainbow #specialneedsparent #specialneedsparenting #autismmom #motherhood #mylovelyweirdos #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

New post, "I, Owen!" (see bio or kelsokids.org) All about navigating the most hateful of scenarios: kids' birthday parties, crowded parks, and the heat. I do not lie, or hide the fact, I hate summer. This instance is no different but there was at least funny streaking and civil disobedience with pizza. . . . #ihatesummer #fuckthisheat #waitingforsnow #autism #summersucks #adhd #autismacceptance #neurodiversity #summermadness #globalwarmingisreal #sweaterweatherdreams #poscar #specialneedsparent #autismforthewin #splashpad #kidsbirthdaypartiessuck #wakemeinseptember #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

Average night: 1ish: "Mama?...Mama?" (Bottle, back to bed, I'm now awake.) 2am: "Mama, your bed?" 3:15am: "I got hot lava on my butt." (Change his diaper.) 4:18am: "Mama? Mama? Come talk wit' me?" 5:36am: "Mama, mama mama? I come lay down which you?" 6:23am: They now both are back to sleep... 7:55am: 2nd pot of coffee. . . . #mylovelyweirdos #autism #motherhood #sleepdeprivation #whatautismlookslike #ihatesummer #hatetheheat #autism #autismforthewin #candidchildhood #autismacceptance #neurorainbow #neurodiversity #sweaterweatherdreams #waitingforsnow #coffeeislife #showeringoptional #momlife #snackhider #pinterestfailure #kelsokids #kelsokidspooflingerpaparazzi

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