Skip to content
  • About
  • Copyright information 
  • Find me elsewhere…

Kelso Kids

Observations on life by a sleep deprived mom, writer, and amateur paparazzi of my neurodiverse ASD family.

Category: body image

Can I have your hair?

Last hair donation. Might as well help others and make something of my yeti-ness.… Read More Can I have your hair?

September 21, 2018 Barbara Kelso2 Comments

Real names for real stuff.

The over share. That moment when your child ups the ante, tilts your world, and calls you out. When all the self-esteem boosting, the positive parenting, the talks about “using your words” and “speaking up” comes around to bite you in the ass. Or, in this case, my uterus. It was an average Wednesday in… Read More Real names for real stuff.

June 9, 2017June 9, 2017 Barbara KelsoLeave a comment

My ass and I don’t care if you stare.

I’m done hating the mirror. My dumpy forty-something ass is as done with you as I am. Stare at it all you want. It doesn’t talk back but I will. I’m a mom, a writer, an educated woman who cusses, and that woman is all out of &^%#$ to care about your opinion on how… Read More My ass and I don’t care if you stare.

August 5, 2016August 4, 2016 Barbara Kelso2 Comments

My mom genes gave me camel toe.

​Jeans on me nowadays are like what a miniature waist cincher would be on a hot dog. Pointless and kind of disturbing. My lady parts swell up enough from chafing to convince a stranger they’re lost in the Sahara with the amount of camel toe I’m sporting. This pelvis is too long, too broken, and… Read More My mom genes gave me camel toe.

July 29, 2016July 28, 2016 Barbara Kelso1 Comment

My boobs: a love-hate relationship

​I’m so top heavy I can’t lay on my back without suffocating or creating armrests in my armpits.  My cleavage seems to start at my chin. (This is my super flattering selfie to illustrate.) Running feels like parts of my body are being ripped off by unseen forces. When I have to chase after my… Read More My boobs: a love-hate relationship

July 15, 2016July 15, 2016 Barbara KelsoLeave a comment

The mom paradox: internal solitary confinement

I don’t want to be here today.  I don’t want to be anywhere.  It’s too hard to be a mom today. It’s too hard to do this in my internal solitary confinement any longer. I wish I wasn’t myself. I wish I was that mom. The mom society expects me to be. A mom who… Read More The mom paradox: internal solitary confinement

July 13, 2016July 14, 2016 Barbara Kelso1 Comment

Puppetry of the Penis, a.k.a. our son

Puppetry of the Penis, hands down one of the weirdest, yet funniest, live performances I’ve ever seen. I remember thinking at the time that I would probably never see something quite as strange again in my life. Then I had children. Post bathtime our son likes to pull on his scrotum and contort it into… Read More Puppetry of the Penis, a.k.a. our son

June 22, 2016June 22, 2016 Barbara Kelso2 Comments

Good words, bad uses

“Mama, you said a bad word.” My mind raced through all the muttered curse words I thought she hadn’t heard that day. The mouthed or spelled obscenities shared with other adults in her presence. Fuck, she can spell and read now, dumbass! I swallowed the mammoth knot in my throat along with my pride, trying… Read More Good words, bad uses

April 7, 2016 Barbara Kelso2 Comments
Follow Kelso Kids on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Kelso Kids: Pooflinger Paparazzi

Kelso Kids: Pooflinger Paparazzi

Old Stuff

Instagram

No Instagram images were found.

Follow Kelso Kids on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • Decennial of Motherhood March 23, 2022
  • Magical Mispronunciations December 10, 2021
  • Heartwrecked November 7, 2021
  • 2020 orbisculated us all. June 29, 2021
  • Pictures of your poop face. March 16, 2021

Archives

Categories

Blog at WordPress.com.
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Kelso Kids
    • Join 200 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Kelso Kids
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

You must be logged in to post a comment.