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Kelso Kids

Observations on life by a sleep deprived mom, writer, and amateur paparazzi of my neurodiverse ASD family.

Category: fertility

I have a picture of your poop face.

I have a picture of your poop face. This thought runs through my head at least once a week if not a day. It’s my ace in the hole, pun intended, for when they really try my patience. I fantasize about showing it to their first date, the first time they’re awful to me in… Read More I have a picture of your poop face.

May 14, 2017 Barbara KelsoLeave a comment

Grasping at water. 

​This is the closest I’ll ever be to you. I remember laying on my side, rubbing my planetary belly, looking out the window into the night sky, speaking to Nora in my womb. It was the closest she would ever be to me physically yet, even then, separate and unfathomable. Her own heart pattering away,… Read More Grasping at water. 

April 30, 2017April 30, 2017 Barbara KelsoLeave a comment

Be my baby.

One of the smartest decisions I have ever made was becoming a mother but it wasn’t as easy as checking off a list. We struggled to have a successful pregnancy to be able to have Nora. Jamie and I are Rh incompatible, my hormones are imbalanced from PCOS, and every subsequent miscarriage increased the scar… Read More Be my baby.

August 1, 2016July 29, 2016 Barbara KelsoLeave a comment

My mom genes gave me camel toe.

​Jeans on me nowadays are like what a miniature waist cincher would be on a hot dog. Pointless and kind of disturbing. My lady parts swell up enough from chafing to convince a stranger they’re lost in the Sahara with the amount of camel toe I’m sporting. This pelvis is too long, too broken, and… Read More My mom genes gave me camel toe.

July 29, 2016July 28, 2016 Barbara Kelso1 Comment

Not every sperm is sacred.

Women who can’t find a job to support and care for their children let alone another one.  Women who have been told that their baby in utero has no heartbeat. Survivors of rape. Shall I continue? Are you uncomfortable yet? How about me? A mother of two who has had two abortions. Two. Not because… Read More Not every sperm is sacred.

June 28, 2016 Barbara KelsoLeave a comment
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Kelso Kids: Pooflinger Paparazzi

Kelso Kids: Pooflinger Paparazzi

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Recent Posts

  • Decennial of Motherhood March 23, 2022
  • Magical Mispronunciations December 10, 2021
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  • 2020 orbisculated us all. June 29, 2021
  • Pictures of your poop face. March 16, 2021

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