We don’t dance in the bathroom.

Sometimes the lessons we teach our children are crucial to their safety, health, social skills, or to our own sanity. No matter how kind and goodhearted they are; they, just like their flawed genetic sources, are human and have the capacity to drive you to drink, swear, and say the most peculiar comments to get through to them. Some of the more memorable exchanges as of late have been:
“Don’t lick tables!” (The edge of the counter at a restaurant.)
“It’s ok to touch yourself just not here.” (“Here” being the frozen food aisle at New Seasons.)
“Cars don’t watch out for you!” (Twirling in her tutu in the parking lot.)
“Gentle with yourself and others, please.” (In response to dry humping her father’s leg as he slept on the couch.)
“We don’t dance in the bathroom!” (This was after she slipped and fell on the tile with her pants down much to her father’s annoyance.)

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