How do you explain in a way to an almost five year old, and an almost two year old, that people are assholes without saying “assholes”? How do you ease the hurt of being stood up at your own party? How do you explain the rejection from a friend?

It’s hard not to think back on my own childhood parties where no one could make it because I have the unfortunate luck of a birth date near Christmas, parents with limited resources, and I was unpopular.

Was I being sensitive? Am I overly protective? Probably all of the above but it still blows.

It kills me that it might be my fault. Reject me, fine, but don’t blame my kid. Be honest and tell me you’re done with our friendship so at least I can be honest with my kid. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, her mom doesn’t like me anymore….why? Oh, because she sucks!”

So the next time you’re “waiting to see”, “weighing your options”, or “just not sure” consider how you want to be treated yourself. We’ve all been there with sick kids and changing sleep schedules but be honest and say that unless you want to be dropped from the invite list permanently. Besides, do you appreciate someone no-showing on you? Not to mention how hard it is to explain to a kid.

So keep in mind, there’s a kid being disappointed and let down by your thoughtlessness (not just me) so, pretty please with sugar on top, click on an electronic answer and stick to it, asshole.

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Nora being stood up. Even disco lights weren't cheering her up.
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