In The Meantime
I thought I had them completely figured out but they were developing and becoming the next version of themselves in the meantime of me looking away for just a moment.… Read More In The Meantime
Category: siblings
Magical Reverence
There are moments in motherhood that I find so poignant that I feel compelled to write them down. They leave me in a state of awe. Like a suspended, present membrance.… Read More Magical Reverence
I, Owen!
Most parents dread kids’ birthday parties if they know any better. (If you don’t, please explain to me your trick for navigating children’s social politics as well as their parent’s.) … Read More I, Owen!
I have a rash on my head.
There are so many topics they don’t prepare you for in those birthing and parenting books, so many things I wish someone had been honest with me about before I had Nora, and to that point I say to my friend two months away from giving birth to her first child, “Greer, this one is… Read More I have a rash on my head.
Did you “eeear” me?
It’s hard to trust that his progress won’t regress at some point because the, truth is, it might since it has before. Yet, even if it does, I now know he can do the work…… Read More Did you “eeear” me?
Real names for real stuff.
The over share. That moment when your child ups the ante, tilts your world, and calls you out. When all the self-esteem boosting, the positive parenting, the talks about “using your words” and “speaking up” comes around to bite you in the ass. Or, in this case, my uterus. It was an average Wednesday in… Read More Real names for real stuff.
It’s a mother of a day.
The day started with being awake for two hours and longing for coffee as I awaited the “surprise” breakfast in bed. I listened to the chaos in the other room and wondered how long till someone cried. All the while feeling guilty for not being more appreciative on the day I’ve been told that everyone… Read More It’s a mother of a day.
Fork you and your words.
Owen was two. He was speaking seventeen words. He told his dad he loved him. I barely could get him to say “mama”. Home with him every hour of the day and he tells his father, “I love you.” I was Barbara’s jealous resentment. He rarely kissed. If he did it was without using his… Read More Fork you and your words.
Keenly aware you annoy me.
Kids interpret instructions too literally at times. Autistic kids take it to new levels. For instance, I use the refrain, “Use your words not your hands!” I did so over breakfast as the kids wrestled over a toy. In frustration over the disagreement, unable to voice his thoughts at that moment, Owen threw his arms… Read More Keenly aware you annoy me.
Have fun with yourself!
“Have fun at school today.” “OK, mama, have fun with yourself.” “OK, honey – WHAT?!” That was two years ago that I had that exchange with Nora. From early on her literal interpretations of common phrases and sayings has had me in fits, elicited serious misgivings, and inspired epiphanies about the English language. It’s hard… Read More Have fun with yourself!
The doll will show him.
Nora said, “I want a baby doll that looks like Owen so he knows I love him and I can hold him.” I hugged her and bit back tears, “You are so kind…he knows you love him. Someday he’ll say it to you too but, trust me, he knows that you love him. He loves… Read More The doll will show him.
When a duck says “cock”.
The doorbell rings for a package and Owen checks to make sure it’s the postal carrier he likes. It is, I breathe a sigh of relief that Owen won’t be stripping in anger, and I greet Dave as I open the door. He says hello to Owen, “Hey, buddy, good job keeping your clothes on.” … Read More When a duck says “cock”.
Whirling dervish of futility
I’m a whirling dervish of futility lately. My calendar looks like a pixelated Rorschach blot. If I went color blind from some sudden aphasia from the stroke (I’m fated to have if I keep up this pace) our whole world would fall apart. So as I organized, color coded appointments once again to match the… Read More Whirling dervish of futility
Am I as bad at this as I sound?
The question came to me again. Am I as bad at this as I sound? I read through a comment on a past post that was meant to be flattering but thanked me for sucking at this thing called “parenting”. My original intention for this blog, much like parenting, was to create something for… Read More Am I as bad at this as I sound?
High Noon at High Tea
“Don’t worry, mama. I got it.” She shimmied forward in her chair towards her large, stemmed water glass refusing my help in pushing in her chair. I bit my tongue and watched her swell with pride in her big kid abilities as she drank with complete focus. The day had been a success but like… Read More High Noon at High Tea
Thank you for being a friend…
Remember the first time you understood what “popular” meant? Do you remember if you thought immediately as to whether or not it applied to you? I’ve never thought of myself as popular. Friendly, yes, but I was never prom queen or the girl with a full paper heart mailbox of Valentines from school. It makes… Read More Thank you for being a friend…
2 years and 4.9 years
It’s the small moments of letting go that are the closest I come to feeling like maybe I have this mom-thing figured out for once. It’s the moment when Owen climbs into bed and blankets my head with his body and I chuckle in rare, surrendered delight instead of annoyance at being awoken yet again throughout… Read More 2 years and 4.9 years
Childbirth, motherhood, and other torture
Owen had three procedures to fix his posterior tongue tie beginning at two weeks, I was a complete mess struggling to manually express milk into his mouth while he attacked my boobs like a rabid animal, recovering from an unplanned c-section and traumatic birth, trying to recover from bronchitis and an ear infection at three… Read More Childbirth, motherhood, and other torture
Parenting hacks for whackadoos: Part 2
– A soap container for carrying crayons. – Baby food pouch caps can’t be recycled but you can reuse them. They make great necklaces and holiday garland. – Color coded laundry clips from the Dollar Store for each person’s towel in the bathroom to avoid sharing germs. – A couple drops of tea tree oil… Read More Parenting hacks for whackadoos: Part 2
RSVP already, don’t be an a$$hole
How do you explain in a way to an almost five year old, and an almost two year old, that people are assholes without saying “assholes”? How do you ease the hurt of being stood up at your own party? How do you explain the rejection from a friend? It’s hard not to think back… Read More RSVP already, don’t be an a$$hole
I have proof
Nora was crying inconsolably after having a fight with Owen. He had just started walking at the time and was officially learning how to be a royal pain in the ass. She was a conflicted jumble of emotions. Loving her brother fiercely, desparately irritated with him, hurt to have to share our attention, pained to… Read More I have proof
22 months: Opposable thumbs and opinions, oh my!
“Today will be different,” I think to myself. “Today I won’t lose my patience with them, I won’t yell or hide in the bathroom, I’ll interact whenever they want my attention and I won’t mind.” That was before I went to bed. Then it was 4am again and I was being awoken by our almost… Read More 22 months: Opposable thumbs and opinions, oh my!
21 months
He strips all clothes off except for his shirt the moment he’s home. He builds cars, trains, and “towahs” with his Legos. He tries to snap his fingers and calls for Simone by clucking his tongue and calling her “Monie”. The crazy thing is she responds and comes to him. He feeds himself. He goes… Read More 21 months
Nora-isms of October
Nora: “Dada, your eyes taste like pineapple.” Jamie: “…Thanks.” Nora: “Mama, you want a story?” “Sure, honey.” “Oh, wait, is Owen asleep? Because this is scary! There’s a dragon, a deer, and they’re walking for a LONG time…” (Damn, that is scary.) Nora: “Uh-oh, I think Owen pooped. He smells like soup.” (Note to self,… Read More Nora-isms of October
Parenting hacks for whackadoos
There’s something about the term whackadoo that makes me smile. The first time I heard it was from a coworker who hailed from Oklahoma. She said, “Well, you know, any state that allows open containers while you drive, has drive thru bars, but tickets you for being drunk is obviously ran by whackadoos.” Amen, sister.… Read More Parenting hacks for whackadoos
This cow goes meow.
June 2nd, 2015 We’re playing a losing game of family bingo. The object of the game is that everyone sleeps through the night without crying, soaking the bed, or causing themselves trauma or injury. Our kids really suck at this game. I’m waiting at the finish line to hug them but I’m so sleep deprived… Read More This cow goes meow.
Nora-isms of June
“I don’t get to do ANYTHING, I am EVERYTHING, I DON’T LIKE it, and I – no, no, NOOO!” Three minutes later after she channeled Sam Kinnison she takes on an English accent ala’-Peppa the Pig, “Mum’a, may I have a tea party, please?” (Why, yes, sweetness and light. Of course I’ll go out of… Read More Nora-isms of June
Kelso Kids 
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