Don’t read my diarrhea.
If it’s not mispronunciations it’s literal interpretations of idioms with an adherence to a request in an Amelia Bedelia like fashion.… Read More Don’t read my diarrhea.
Category: Aspergers
My stay-at-home order came nine years ago.
I’ve never felt so alone without ever being alone.… Read More My stay-at-home order came nine years ago.
Harmony at Halloween: All buckets are welcome at our door!
All colors of bucket welcome here! Honor all super heros this holiday.… Read More Harmony at Halloween: All buckets are welcome at our door!
Angry birds and tales of home repairs
One of the benefits of autism is intense focus that can have comical results or at least inspire great art.… Read More Angry birds and tales of home repairs
I see ‘wit my hands!
Idioms, expressions, euphemisms. They’re a reminder of how confusing the world can be for those that are neurodivergent.… Read More I see ‘wit my hands!
Pursue, defend, retreat
From an outsider’s point of view, my life might seem unpleasant or exhausting. Like most lives, it is at times. A series of battles and endless research just to find resources for my kids and always asking myself is it worth it in the end and is it enough. Never really knowing if I’ve ever… Read More Pursue, defend, retreat
Tell me a story.
How did this wondrous creature come into my life?… Read More Tell me a story.
Bye-bye fishies. Hello Five!
“Alright, everyone ready for fishsticks!” “NOOOOO!!!” Owen jumped from his chair and ran screaming from the room, hustling down the hall like a deranged train, as if I set his cars on fire. Leonora and I looked at each other in shared confusion and equal concern. “But Owen loves fish…” “It’s ok, honey. I’ll go… Read More Bye-bye fishies. Hello Five!
Pre-soil and repeat.
Never would I guess that I would have to explain why we don’t plug up the toilet.… Read More Pre-soil and repeat.
The “F” word.
Sometimes the “f” word is foul.… Read More The “F” word.
Once a mummy, always a mummy.
“You see coffee is what keeps mama from feeling like I need a coffin and a coffin is where I’ll finally get to sleep.”… Read More Once a mummy, always a mummy.
Others like me.
At first, I wrote about my pregnancy in a blog because I wanted a journal for my kids that they could access at any time down the road. Then I continued it not for just them but as a life line for myself. As a way to process my turmoil, to feel less alone, with… Read More Others like me.
I do ME-self!
I need to rethink my life’s social story.… Read More I do ME-self!
I, Owen!
Most parents dread kids’ birthday parties if they know any better. (If you don’t, please explain to me your trick for navigating children’s social politics as well as their parent’s.) … Read More I, Owen!
Threats, bluffs, and tears
You can’t take off naked.… Read More Threats, bluffs, and tears
Pneumostome
Ever wish you had an extra air hole to breathe through?… Read More Pneumostome
Acceptance is a far off destination.
Cathexis. Definition, the concentration of mental energy on one particular person, idea, or object (especially to an unhealthy degree). I’d never heard of this word until yesterday. It’s an accurate label for this phase of my life and for the many parents, like myself, that have kids with special needs. It takes a dedication and… Read More Acceptance is a far off destination.
I have a rash on my head.
There are so many topics they don’t prepare you for in those birthing and parenting books, so many things I wish someone had been honest with me about before I had Nora, and to that point I say to my friend two months away from giving birth to her first child, “Greer, this one is… Read More I have a rash on my head.
Did you “eeear” me?
It’s hard to trust that his progress won’t regress at some point because the, truth is, it might since it has before. Yet, even if it does, I now know he can do the work…… Read More Did you “eeear” me?
Open-minded, just not agreeing with you.
Most of you, since you’re reading this, understand I have a twisted sense of humor and I don’t shock easily. I’ve been told it’s biting, sarcastic, dry, droll, and once (by an exe) caustic. What I hear in my head though is “you’re funny”. I maintain this blog for my own selfish enjoyment, to document… Read More Open-minded, just not agreeing with you.
Resuscitation of Hope
“Special needs” means just that, a need, not a limitation.… Read More Resuscitation of Hope
I miss me too.
It would be dishonest of me to say I don’t miss my old life. I do, but not most of it, just my friends. Ok, and maybe my waistline, being able to talk on the phone, sleeping in, using the bathroom by myself but, still, mostly my friends. New Year’s Eve reminded me of that… Read More I miss me too.
Politely Defiant
“No, ‘tanks. Not yet…No, thank YOU.” I hear this statement frequently from Owen. It epitomizes his character and willful spirit. Even as he is defying you he is doing so politely. He is kind yet abrupt and I love him all the more for it and find it to be true of most people I… Read More Politely Defiant
Awakening
He posed for a photo radiating pride for himself that can only be eclipsed by our own for him. Owen posing and saying “cheese”, asking for his photo to be taken, a simple action with so much meaning after these first three years of his life. Most might underestimate how unusual this is or the… Read More Awakening
Pillow Power
We’re pillow people. Correction, the kids and I are pillow people. My husband is not. He’s one of those folks that could sleep on a bare floor with a block under his head. I, on the other hand, am not such a person. As tough as I might be in other areas of my life… Read More Pillow Power
Our summer vacation
We were walking through our neighborhood, holding hands, my mind was wandering. I lost track of the conversation as I felt mesmerized by seed fluff floating by and underfoot. It brought me back to my walk with Nora through the snow in this very spot only six months before. I looked up at our favorite… Read More Our summer vacation
Real names for real stuff.
The over share. That moment when your child ups the ante, tilts your world, and calls you out. When all the self-esteem boosting, the positive parenting, the talks about “using your words” and “speaking up” comes around to bite you in the ass. Or, in this case, my uterus. It was an average Wednesday in… Read More Real names for real stuff.
Acute exhaustion.
Bilateral acute otitis media (a.k.a screaming nonverbal child, a.k.a. maternal tinnitus, a.k.a. sudden depression), better known as double ear infection and raging fevers. “Poor baby, he must be in so much pain.” He is and so am I. Physically from being headbutted, scratched, and trying to hold forty pounds of a thrashing body so he… Read More Acute exhaustion.
It’s a mother of a day.
The day started with being awake for two hours and longing for coffee as I awaited the “surprise” breakfast in bed. I listened to the chaos in the other room and wondered how long till someone cried. All the while feeling guilty for not being more appreciative on the day I’ve been told that everyone… Read More It’s a mother of a day.
Fork you and your words.
Owen was two. He was speaking seventeen words. He told his dad he loved him. I barely could get him to say “mama”. Home with him every hour of the day and he tells his father, “I love you.” I was Barbara’s jealous resentment. He rarely kissed. If he did it was without using his… Read More Fork you and your words.
Keenly aware you annoy me.
Kids interpret instructions too literally at times. Autistic kids take it to new levels. For instance, I use the refrain, “Use your words not your hands!” I did so over breakfast as the kids wrestled over a toy. In frustration over the disagreement, unable to voice his thoughts at that moment, Owen threw his arms… Read More Keenly aware you annoy me.
The doll will show him.
Nora said, “I want a baby doll that looks like Owen so he knows I love him and I can hold him.” I hugged her and bit back tears, “You are so kind…he knows you love him. Someday he’ll say it to you too but, trust me, he knows that you love him. He loves… Read More The doll will show him.
When a duck says “cock”.
The doorbell rings for a package and Owen checks to make sure it’s the postal carrier he likes. It is, I breathe a sigh of relief that Owen won’t be stripping in anger, and I greet Dave as I open the door. He says hello to Owen, “Hey, buddy, good job keeping your clothes on.” … Read More When a duck says “cock”.
Whirling dervish of futility
I’m a whirling dervish of futility lately. My calendar looks like a pixelated Rorschach blot. If I went color blind from some sudden aphasia from the stroke (I’m fated to have if I keep up this pace) our whole world would fall apart. So as I organized, color coded appointments once again to match the… Read More Whirling dervish of futility
Mama, the baby is stuck again!
“What NOW, Owen?” I’m not proud of that lament but I’m driven to it by noon on a good day. Considering I’ve been up since 3 a.m., that makes it happy hour in some time zones for those without children. So imagine my surprise when I discovered my baby stuck in the cat door. It’s… Read More Mama, the baby is stuck again!
Papa playtime requires protective gear
My husband, Jamie, is meticulous and cautious by nature and trade. He spends his days as an engineer and prides himself on being thorough, accurate, and heading off trouble. Then there’s his play time with Owen. Owen has no sense of fear. He’ll jump from anything and run head long without sensing any imminent danger… Read More Papa playtime requires protective gear
Kelso Kids 
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